The big state testing at the elementary school was scheduled about a month ago. For most kids, it is no big deal. For teachers, this annual series of exams is mostly just an annoyance and disruption in actually getting to teach these kids.
But for one little fellow I know, missing his two front teeth, these tests were like facing Goliath empty-handed and alone. He was overwhelmed before he even entered the classroom. So many pages of questions stared him in the face. So little time. Hurry, hurry.
“What if I don’t know the answer?” “What if I don’t finish in time?” For him, it was not about being the best. He always does his best. But what if that was not enough? The big what-ifs always cast the biggest scary shadows. “What if I’m last?” “What if I’m the only one left in the room?” Hurry, hurry. And that absolutely paralyzed him, like the Israelites staring at the hordes of Assyrians rushing towards them in full battle gear. Run for your life, and then discovering your shoe laces are tied together.
I wanted to tell him that this test does not define him. Someday, he won’t even remember this week of dismay. But even more, I wanted him to know that God loves him and has amazing plans for his life to bring God glory. And nothing will stop that.
I wanted him to hear the Almighty’s words: Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go. Joshua 1. 9
“Do not fear. I am with you.” Those words last through all of eternity. No expiration date. God is faithful. Even today. Even in this.
All I could do was pray for him that week of testing. And to let him know-- no matter what --that nothing can separate him from the love of Jesus. God does not just show up. God is bringing him through. As a second grader, may he learn that, and know that, and never forget that.
But what are we facing today? Even us big kids face dilemmas and hard stuff in all kinds of monster costumes. We cry out in our prayers, “God, I can’t do this!” And He replies, “Good. Because I can. Lean on Me.” God pours His strength all over us. We walk with Him one step at a time. We are not alone. He has a strong hold on us. Fear does not do anything but minimize our eyesight and confuse our hearts.
Recently I was faced with a daunting situation. I prayed, “God, I just am not comfortable or at peace about this.” And instead of a soothing empty answer, I felt like God was saying, “I don’t want you to feel comfortable or competent in this.” Because if we are comfortable, we don’t rely on Him. We pray less. We don’t even acknowledge His presence, and we usually take the credit when it goes well.
God did not give me a consoling “oh, you poor thing” kind of reply. He gave me His strength.
God always wants something more for us than we see at the moment. And something very different than the feeble ideas we contrive without coming before Him. When we respond to God, He leads us in ways and in places we have not been before. Not to a “right answer” but to Him. When we are following the Lord, there almost always comes a point of wondering if we made a wrong turn, or don’t know the answers, or definitely won’t finish in time. That’s when trusting God comes in.
That’s when we know we are not on our own. Nor ever meant to be.
For we are powerless
against this great horde
that is coming against us.
We do not know what to do,
but our eyes are on You.
2 Chronicles 20. 12
