It's been over a week since Ash Wednesday, the beginning of Lent and the start of my fasting from fear and anxiety. While it sounds like a great and unnecessary thing to unload -- I mean, who wants those distractions multiplying in our heads and hearts? --there has been some heavy lifting going on.
A whole lot harder than giving up chocolate.
Fear and anxiety seemed to multiply the faster I tried to banish them this past week. But every morning without fail in my Bible reading, God gave me Costco-size servings of scripture until my cart (and heart) overfloweth with Do not be afraid. Two days after committing to this fast, God placed this verse point blank in front of me,
And they woke Him
and said to Him,
"Teacher, do you not care
that we are perishing?"
And He awoke and
rebuked the wind
and said to the sea,
"Peace! Be still!"
And the wind ceased,
and there was great calm.
He said to them,
"Why are you so afraid?
Have you still no faith?" Mark 4. 38-40
The disciples asked Jesus the most ridiculous question: "Don't you even care?" And Jesus did not reply with "Give Me a list of what you are afraid of," but responded with a simple question, "Why are you so afraid?" He's right here in the boat with us.
Those words Why are you so afraid? stopped me in my tracks.
I felt like Jesus was asking me, "Did you think I would not take care of you? Trust Me in this."
When God says, Do not be afraid, He doesn't mean it's going to be easy, won't hurt, be awkward, nor scary. But it does mean: I am with you in this.
And through these many days and experiences, I am beginning to realize do not fear is not the point after all. The whole idea of giving something up for Lent is not an achievement to earn a chocolate bunny at the finish line, nor to be successful in accomplishing one's goal, nor even to become a "better" person, but to be drawing closer to Jesus. The whole point is grasping the reality of I am with you.
And to know Him more.
No comments:
Post a Comment