The Elusive Perfection of Children

Of the writing of parenting books, there is no end.  The first one was written, I believe, in the garden of Eden, shortly after Eve took a bite of the apple from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil.  Satan had promised her, PROMISED her, that she would become like God.  And nothing since has been the same.  She took a bite, blamed her husband Adam, looked for a new outfit, and began rearranging bushes in the Garden.  Before the incident, Adam and Eve basked in perfection; since then, we have been seeking it.  And as if we have come to grips with our own imperfection, we have been appalled at its presence in our children. 

Children misbehave.  That is a fact.  They misbehave most certainly in the presence of those you want to impress, and just about always when it is grossly inconvenient and your patience is nowhere to be found.  “You did WHAT?”  “Can’t you children get along for TWO minutes?”  We somehow expect them – whether 18 months or 18 years old – to act with the mindset of a mature adult and naturally display the attributes of God (wise, loving, kind, gracious, and good), in other words, as WE would have done :)

With that bite of the apple, performance entered the picture.  And so, if our children do well, we take the credit.  And if they do not, we feel guilty and judged, and quickly as possible pin the blame on someone else:  the bad influence of a neighbor’s child, an unqualified teacher, the whole school system, your own mom or dad… or we carry the guilt, browbeating ouselves, tormented by our own stupidity.  “I am to blame.  It is my fault.  I should have/could have done better.  And now my child’s life is ruined.”  Really?? 

As followers of Christ, our homes should be radically different.  Your worldview does not just affect your view of God;  it changes how you view your children.  And that difference should be evident to everyone who enters your home and anyone around you – whether you are playing in the park, standing in line at the grocery, or sitting in an airport terminal with a delayed flight and hungry, tired kids.  Be assured, others ARE watching you and your children:   not to see how perfect they are, but how you respond in grace.