The Littlest Angel

When I was three and so shy that I was mostly invisible, I was designated by the choir director to participate in the church’s annual reenactment of the Christmas story.  I was given the part of an angel.  All I had to do was stand behind the manger which held a rough-looking plastic baby doll wrapped in an old towel.  It was not necessary for me to attend the rehearsals as I did not have a speaking part.  I just had to stand there and look, I guess, angelic.

My grandmother Mammy, who lived with us, toiled over my costume.  An old white bedsheet was sewn into a small robe and around my waist was tied a golden metallic cord, leftover from a previous Christmas.  A strand of dime-store tinsel was bobby-pinned into a halo of sorts in my unruly curly hair.

The evening of the event, my grandmother took me backstage.  Suddenly, this didn’t seem like such a fun thing to me anymore.  I was surrounded by giants dressed like characters in my little Bible.  And there were people out there, lots of people, staring at the stage.

When it came time for Jesus to be born, this little angel PANICKED.  And with the tenderness that only a grandmother can have in a moment of pandemonium, Mammy just gently took my hand.  On cue, as if it were the most natural thing for me to do, I stood on stage with my arms held out, just like I was supposed to.  Behind the curtain and out of sight sat Mammy on a folding chair, holding the tiny little hand of a terrified angel on stage.  Even though I could not see her, I knew she was there.  I could feel the warmth of her hand.  And it was ok.  I could do this very hard thing.

Quite frankly, we all are faced with situations when inside we are terrified three-year-olds wearing adult costumes on the outside.  And with shaking knees we have to put on a game face and big girl panties and get out there.  But we can KNOW we are not alone.  “Be not afraid.  I am with you,” the LORD says.  Those are not just words but promises woven repeatedly throughout the entire Bible.  His Presence surrounds us.  No matter what role we may be called to play.  He is there.

Fear not, for I have redeemed you,

I have called you by name, you are Mine.

When you pass through the waters

I will be with you,

and through the rivers,

they shall not overwhelm you,

when you walk through fire

you shall not be burned,

and the flame shall not consume you.

For I am the LORD your God,

the Holy One of Israel, your Savior.

…Because you are precious in My eyes,

and honored, and I love you…

Fear not, for I am with you.

                    Isaiah 43. 1-5