I love to write, and so, to study journalism at Northwestern seemed like a good fit. That is, until I started graduate school. Because suddenly I realized that being a journalist had very little to do with writing. I was expected to be an aggressive investigative reporter, breaking down locked doors, making illusive contacts, and interviewing reluctant sources. Not what I signed up for. For one of my first assignments as a grad student, I was supposed to approach and interview people attending a local Fourth of July parade. Total strangers? I was paralyzed.
When I landed my first job at a magazine, I can remember staring at the phone, straightening my desk, trying to drum up the courage to call and interview builders for an assignment. I was still the shy student on the street corner.
As a mom, I can remember long days and sleepless nights when I didn’t know how to adequately mother three daughters, three and under, one of whom thought that sleep was a waste of time. And then came the fourth. I was running on empty.
And at those times when I wondered how in the world I was going to handle the task before me, God assured me that He had me just where He wanted me. “But I can’t do this!” I would cry.
“Exactly,” He would respond.
And I would not suddenly just drum up the courage or strength or confidence. I would lean hard on my God. He would give me the strength. His deliverance led me through the midst of impossible situations. And I knew I had nothing to do with it. The strength was His.
In her book Kisses from Katie, author Katie Davis tells about her life as a 20 year old in Uganda, raising 14 adopted street children and running an organization that supports 400 more. She lives an impossible situation in the midst of abject poverty. I love what she says about being overwhelmed. Many try to support her by saying, “Remember, God will never give you more than you can handle.”
But Katie responds, “It is meant to be a source of encouragement, and it would be if I believed it were true. But I don’t. I believe that God totally, absolutely, intentionally gives us more than we can handle. Because this is when we surrender to Him and He takes over, proving Himself by doing the impossible in our lives.”
She continues in her journal, “…Because in these times, God shows Himself victorious. He reminds me that all of this life requires more of Him and less of me. God does give us more than we can handle. Not maliciously, but intentionally, in love, that His glory may be displayed, that we may have no doubt of who is in control, that people may see His grace and faithfulness shining through our lives.”
Exactly where He wants us to be. Leaning hard on Him.
Be strong and of good courage.
Do not be afraid or dismayed before the king of Assyria
and all the horde that is with him,
for there is one greater with us than with him.
With him is an arm of flesh,
but with us is the LORD our God,
to help us
and to fight our battles.
2 Chronicles 32. 7-8
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