You Want Me To Do What???

One October long ago, I was dropping off our three year old daughter at her Wednesday evening church class, when a young man, the overall director of the children's ministry, greeted me warmly.  I thought it odd, as he had never even said hi before.  I should have RUN in the opposite direction.

"We need a helper in your daughter's class," he said.
"I am not a teacher," I said, excusing myself.
 "Oh, we just need a helper." he emphasized, "you know, to hand out paper and crayons."  He continued to pursue me down the hallway.  "Just for a few weeks," he bargained.   "Just until we can get someone more permanent in there," he pleaded.

I did not realize the implications of my "OK."  

Those "few" weeks turned into months.  And then, after the Christmas holidays, the teacher did not return at all.  Now, I was the teacher.  The director assured me he was talking to someone to take over the class.  "Just give it a few more weeks."

Needless to say, I was alone in a room the entire semester with 10 three-year-olds, including the choir director's "energetic" son who knew no boundaries.  Winter turned into spring.  "As soon as school is out," I told the director, "my teaching career is over."

Over the summer, my next-door neighbor told me she wanted to listen to some tapes on family issues when we came back from vacation. Sure, no problem, I replied.

On our road trip, I remarked to my husband, "I wonder how I will get involved this fall.  It.won't be teaching, that is for sure.". We both laughed.  "I wonder how God will lead me."  Within a few minutes of pulling in our driveway, yet another neighbor said, "Oh, I heard you were going to start a neighborhood Bible study."

Where did THAT come from?  "I wonder what God wants you to do," Bill chuckled.

I taught Friday morning Bible study for a few years until we moved, so uncomfortable in that role that I was nauseous every Thursday night.  I even pleaded with God for school snow days, so that I wouldn't have to teach the next morning.  This is definitely not my area of giftedness, I affirmed each week.  But over the course of the next two decades, one neighborhood teaching opportunity led to another, despite moves to five different cities.  And through those years, I did not grow to love teaching, but I grew to love digging into God's Word with those around me.

Today I will teach a Bible study for the first time in three and a half years, subbing for a friend who is out of town.  When she asked me last week, I did not hesitate.

What is different now?   There is the reality of God staring me in the face, rooted not only in what I believe but what has proven to be true over and over again in my life.  God's purposes are deeper than I can know, His strength when I have none, His mercies new every morning.  I can't help but tell of Whom I know.

If I say, "I will not mention Him,
or speak any more in His name,"
there is in my heart as it were a burning fire
shut up in my bones,
and I am weary with holding it in,
and I cannot.
                          Jeremiah 20.9