Mother's Day Is Not About Being A Mom

Mother's Day is not about being a mom.
It is about having a mom.
And that involves everyone of us.

It is a holiday to love and honor our moms.  And for some of us, that is hard.  For some, there is no Hallmark card that quite fits.

But God calls us to "Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land which the LORD your God gives you."  Exodus 20.12.  It is one of the Ten Commandments, a commandment with a promise for you.  Because God knows that if you can love and honor your mom --yes, even her -- it will change the course of your life.  After all, the Ten Commandments are not about adhering to a set of rules, but how to love --love God and love others.  It is not about performance, but of grace.

In some ways, this day is not about our moms after all --good, bad or indifferent -- but recognizing in them our own need of grace.  The truth is that no mom is perfect, and no mom has ever been.  And no relationship with a mom is perfect.

And when we realize that truth, we see our moms differently, and we see ourselves differently.  That was a huge release for me.  That was an enormous relief.  Mom was not perfect -- and oh, I struggled with how different she was.  I needed her to be perfect, because I was not.  And perhaps, it was in her imperfections, and my own, I learned my need for a Savior.  I learned my need for grace.  And in my adult years, God filled me with compassion and love for her.  I was much more gracious with her, because of how God's grace transformed me.  I just wish that it had been sooner.  It would have changed our relationship immeasurably.

And now, I don't just respect her differences, I applaud them.  They are what make her so precious to me.

May we offer terms do peace to those who did their best and fell short, even for those who intentionally wounded, buffeted about by strong currents we may not know and never understand, and for all those moms who felt the pressures to be someone they were not.

Mother's Day is a time to recognize that God gave each of us a mom.  And because we live in a broken world, He gave us grace.  Grace  is never tied up neatly with a ribbon.  Grace goes deep to the sore spots, healing one forgiveness at a time.  Forgiveness is not saying it is ok.  Forgiveness is letting go of the bitterness, and filling the gaps with love and grace that none of us deserve.

My mom has been gone for eight years now.

If you still can, call your mom.  Keep calling.  It will change her life.  It will change yours.