Dog eared pages

From the memoir Surprised By Oxford by Carolyn Weber,
the long journey of an unlikely student coming to faith in Christ:

p. 97 
"Tell me," I finally got out, grappling for a light switch in the dark.  "Is there a word for wanting to forget this God and Jesus and the whole mess?  For wanting to forget it all?"  I pinned him with my eyes.

"Despair," he reminded me, draining his glass.