When my husband and I were first married, we moved into an 88-year-old house that radiated with charm, dutifully disguising a mile-long list of unending projects. We never even made it past the crisis items --such as the 1933 toilet that stopped functioning the week we brought our first baby home from the hospital. And then, a hole in the roof caused a cascade of water in the front room every time it rained. Oh, and an enormous tree that fell in a thunder storm. You get the picture.
As our excitement of renovating this old house began to wane, we also realized that the kitchen windows were painted shut. When my husband removed the frames to strip the paint, he discovered ten layers of paint in a variety of colors, one layer upon another that did not peel off easily, nor scrape off with sheer determination, elbow grease, and a heat gun.
We made slow progress into this miry bog of frustration. Layers of paint adhered fiercely to the layers beneath them. The sight of the frame-less windows cheerfully greeted us every morning, “Still here!” as if mocking and reminding us “You're doing nothing at all.” No difference was apparent except for the obvious mess.
In the past couple weeks "giving up" fear and anxiety for Lent, I found they had taken up residency in my heart, built up in layers over time, not so easily evicted. Worry, stress, despair and panic come in a variety of colors, textures and finishes, some slathering on more than one coat of paint, each falsely promising to cover up a mess but only getting thicker.
I have found not just solace in the Psalms, but God's strength in the words of David. When he was writing down these words, did David realize that thousands of years and in a world he could not possibly comprehend, God would use his writings to comfort and cheer us on?
The "foes and enemies" mentioned in the Psalms are whatever we fear, both real and imagined.
David was not just talking himself out of being afraid. He was running for his life in very real ways. But through many a danger, toil and snare, David learned the secret of meeting his fears head on. He did not just lay down and let fear steamroll over him.
The word praise appears 211 times in the book of Psalms. We need not just cower before these foes, fears, or beastly situations. God does not show up. God shows us the way through. I am learning, ever so slowly, to not pray out of fear but from a platform of trusting God. And that starts with praise and thanksgiving.
Praise is not limited to situations when life goes nicely. It is not plastering a smiley face on our hard stuff, or mustering up "happy thoughts," or putting on a one-size-fits-all disguise to cover up our despair. Praise is not acquiring a new attitude, but a strength from God Himself to find a new way to approach it and a new way to pray about it.
There is a lot more at stake than waking in the night just to tremble. Push back the darkness. We have options. Worrying or praying? Listening to fear or reciting scripture? God gives us His Word on that.
I rise before dawn and cry for help. I hope in Your words. My eyes are awake before the watches of the night, that I may meditate on Your promise. Psalm 119. 148
When I pray that way, praising God and thanking Him, gratitude allows me to both think and pray differently about what is in front of me. Praying is not an attempt to manipulate God, or point out that He has forgotten something, or try to force a particular favored answer. That is not praying to God. There is always so much more that God can do than we can imagine. Because God is God, and we are not.
Practicing His Presence allows us to realize the Almighty is already here, already at work, and waiting for us to realize He is sitting right here next to us.
In praising and thanking God for this situation, for that person, for His redeeming, God releases us not only into His embrace but opens our eyes and hearts to a thousand galaxies bursting into view. We've been missing a lot.
My mouth will praise You with joyful lips, when I remember You upon my bed, and meditate on You in the watches of the night, for You have been my help; and in the shadow of Your wings I will sing for joy. My soul clings to You, Your right hand upholds me. Psalm 63. 5-8
God dissolves our fears, layer upon layer, as we come to trust Him more. What He reveals is Himself.
Help us, Lord, to live differently these days of Lent, that we may live differently far beyond these 40 days. Turn our fears, worries and anxiety into something glorifying to You instead.
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