A Year in Books

One of my early childhood memories is getting my first library card, the only requirement was that I was able to scrawl my name on that little tiny line.  Another memory is hiding under the covers with a flashlight, reading long after bedtime, braving the warning that I would ruin my eyes.  My mom's most effective form of discipline was to take away my library books.

A recent article in Forbes magazine described the rapid pace of technology in the past few years.  "In very much the same way, life today will look very different in the not-too-distant future. By 2030, our technology will be a thousand times more powerful and by 2045, it will be a million times more powerful. Things that seem futuristic today, like virtual reality, will be old hat by then."

Fifteen years from now?  I will still have a stack of books on my nightstand and kitchen counter and a line of books on my desk.  And the grandkids will still dig through my basket of Little Golden Books and beg "read another one, gramma."

I read things online and sometimes on a Kindle, but I will always love the feel of a real book in my hands. One of my daughters claims that you are never more than three feet from a spider.   I live almost that close in proximity to a book. 

I had a crazy schedule last year, but here is the list of books I read in 2014, in no particular order. 

You’ll Make It Through This by Max Lucado (2013)

Surprised by Oxford by Carolyn Weber (2011)

Holy is the Day by Carolyn Weber (2013)

Stitches: A Handbook on Meaning, Hope and Repair by Anne Lamott  (2014)

Talk Like TED:  The 9 Public-Speaking Secrets of the World’s Top Minds by Carmine Gallo (2014)

Encounters with Jesus:  Unexpected Answers to Life’s Biggest Questions by Timothy Keller (2013)

The Spiritual Danger of Doing Good by Peter Greer (2013)

An American Childhood by Annie Dillard (1987)

The Miracle of St. Anna by James McBride (2002)

The Good Lord Bird by James McBride (2013)

The Invention of Wings by Sue Monk Kidd (2014)

Daily Rituals:  How Artists Work by Mason Currey (2013)

In the Name of Jesus by Henri Nouwen (2001)

Invisible Cities by Italo Calvino (1972)

Hannah Coulter by Wendell Berry (2004)

The Knowledge of the Holy by A. W. Tozer (1961)

The Pursuit of God by A. W. Tozer (1948)

Lila by Marilynne Robinson (2014)

Seeing Through the Fog:  Hope When Your World Falls Apart  by Ed Dobson (2012)

What Are You Afraid Of?  by David Jeremiah (2013)

Hearing God: Developing a Conversational Relationship with God by Dallas Willard (1984)

Running for My Life:  One Lost Boy’s Journey from the Killing Fields of Sudan to the Olympic Games by Lopez Lemong (2012)
How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie (1936)
Practicing the Presence of God by Brother Lawrence (1691)

The Bible

“It is a good rule, after reading a new book, never to allow yourself another new one till you have read an old one in between.”  C. S. Lewis, God In The Dock

That ought to be enough for today

Back to reality this morning, despite the last vestiges of the holidays that remain around us - a box of ornaments that still needs to be put away, the mound of Christmas trees discarded at the recycling center, the last piece of cheesecake taking refuge in the back of the fridge.  Even the living room looks like something is missing.

And what of today, what of this new year?  If we want things to be different, something has to change.  That is a banner we can all rally around, until we realize the obvious problem.  If I point a finger of blame at  those around me or my situation, four fingers are pointing back at me.

A list of resolutions will only get me to the end of January.  But changes in my heart will transform me degree by degree.

Lead me, O LORD,
    in Your righteousness
because of my enemies;
make Your way
    straight before me.

           Psalm 5.8

The problem is that I want directions from God
       for where I want to go,
when He wants to direct my paths
       in ways
              and to places
beyond my wildest imagination.

And what do I set before my eyes?
A to-do list
      ranked by urgency?
A list of "ought to's?"

Or focus my eyes
        every morning on His Word?

...to lead a life worthy of You,
fully pleasing to You,
bearing fruit in every good work,
and increasing in the
         knowledge of You.

                    Colossians 1. 10

He will direct my paths,
He will order my days,
He will teach me to think differently,
He will change my heart.

All who wander are not lost

Some long-time friends of ours joined us on New Year's Eve for a evening walk in the park, a new little twist on ringing in the new year.  It was cold.  It was dark.  And our grown kids, once again, questioned our sanity.  But we thought it was a great idea.... and we viewed a "hike in the dark" as an appropriate metaphor for our past year, navigating so much uncharted territory.

We dressed in layers and brought along our flashlights and headlamps to guide our way. The parking lot was completely desolate.  A nearby swingset stood motionless in the haze like a faded childhood memory.   Large shadows crisscrossed the forest floor.  We headed up the path like entering the unknown of a new year.

But soon our plan for a quick walk in the dark turned out to be something entirely different.  While only in the upper 20's, the air was chilly but not unbearable, not the suck-the-oxygen-out-of-your-lungs kind of cold that we former-Chicagoans know so well.  While dense woods surrounded us, our eyes adjusted almost immediately to a strong grey light around us.  Our flashlights remained in our pockets, unneeded and unused.  We walked in the outrageous presence of a silent midwinter's moon, unhindered and wild in its beauty.

And I was reminded of Psalm 139.12:  "Even the darkness is not dark to You."

I had hiked this trail before, but at night it looked a little bit different. We missed the turn-off that would have brought us back quickly to the car.  Instead, we meandered around a long ridge, surrounded by immense age-old trees, and we looked down at times on car lights like so many white and red ribbons winding on invisible roads through the hills.  The air was quiet and calm and devoid of fear.

For a time, we didn't know where we were, but the trail went on.  And then quite suddenly around a bend, I recognized an intersection where two paths came together, a place where I had been before in the daylight.  It was like walking in mystery and emerging into sudden understanding.

We intended to walk a couple of miles.  Instead, we traveled about five.  When we arrived at the car, it was like coming back to the same place a little bit different. 

Were we wandering after all?  Or exploring?  Or following what we could not yet see?  In his novel Jayber Crow, Wendell Berry described how I felt.

"...looking back at earlier times, it seemed I had been wandering in the dark woods of error.  But now it looks to me as though I was following a path that was laid out for me, unbroken, and maybe even as straight as possible, from one end to the other, and I have this feeling, which never leaves me anymore, that I have been led."

In 2014, my husband Bill and I traversed new territory, paths we had not taken before, and like our night hike, not knowing where we would come out.  Our roads were not paved, nor familiar.  An adventure, indeed.  And once again, God underlined the truth that what I don't know makes me rely even more on Him.  His leading is both deliberate and incomprehensible, "yet Your footprints were unseen." (Psalm 77.19)

And as God reassured me on our hike, last year was not traveling into the unknown after all, but just what I couldn't see yet.  Trust is where the adventure begins.

J. R. R. Tolkien once said, "All who wander are not lost."  To that I would add on this unfamiliar journey into another year, God is just taking us to a new dimension of knowing Him.

"You do not know what you are going to do;
the only thing you know is that
God knows what He is doing.
...God does not tell you
what He is going to do;
He reveals to you
Who He is."
              --Oswald Chambers
                 My Utmost For His Highest


 

Putting Christmas Away

The time has come.  The guests have gone.  Even the little plastic tubs of leftovers in the fridge look forlorn, having been reheated a few too many times.  Drifts of evergreen needles appear every morning on the living room floor like sand dunes after a storm. The ornaments on the tree are faded, weary and ready to get settled down for a long winter's nap.  Even the nativity will get packed gently into its carton, nestled and safe, accompanied by the waning strains of carols. The empty boxes are ready at the top of the stairs.  The season has passed.

But it is not time to put Christmas away,
                   it is time to put it into action. 

Jesus did not just come as a sweet little baby;  He came to save people from their sins (Matthew 1.21).  He came to change us and to make all things new.

I don't need to put Christmas away.  I need to walk with Him right into the reality of the new year. 

And how do I do that?  I have no idea what is ahead of me in this new year.  But because of Christmas, I am ready.
 
No matter the difficulty of my situation, no matter who God places on my path today, no matter how bleak or love-deprived or seemingly hopeless.  Take the love of Jesus there, as theologian Henri Nouwen says in his book In the Name of Jesus. 

And the only way to do that is to abide in Him.  Not as a decoration hung around one's neck, nor an accessory to put on, but at the core of one's heart, Jesus infiltrates everything.

Abide in Me,
          and I in you.
As the branch
  cannot bear fruit by itself,
unless it abides in the vine,
neither can you,
unless you abide in Me.
I am the vine,
you are the branches.
He who abides in Me,
         and I in him,
he it is that bears much fruit,
for apart from Me,
    you can do nothing.

                    John 14. 4-5

It is not time to put Jesus away in the attic.

It's "go time."

Newness

It is the first day of 2015.
We worship a God
      Who specializes
not just in new starts
               but in new hearts.

I read this morning
the very first verse in the Bible
that talks about newness.
"In the beginning
God created the heavens
and the earth."
          Genesis 1.1

That verse alone
      changes everything
I think and know
about life,
myself,
others,
     and God Himself.

God is faithful.
With that truth,
I can look into this newest of years
        that is full of His goodness
and thankfully,
               His grace.
On Him alone,
      I can stake my life.