Grace Notes

In music composition, grace notes are a small addition or embellishment that is added before the playing of a note, harmonically a nonessential.  But these tiny notes add to the beauty of the melody.  Biblically, grace notes are not an embellishment but grace is the substance, an absolutely essential element of the majesty of God.

Grace will almost always appear as the stupidest, not obvious, most unnatural, unnecessary, foolish thing to do, and the costliest.  But grace will always emerge out of the bleakest barren ground to completely change the landscape.

Even in what we may never see.  Even in what comes after our lifetimes.  Even in those who are yet unborn, those we do not know or who do not realize the life-changing marks woven in their lives.  Even among the rebellious.  Even among us. 

Grace is not ignoring the transgressions against us, or pretending there was never anything awry, but making the relationship the most important thing.  It is not a matter of being proven right or winning a fight, but making things right, in order to keep, restore, and reconcile our relationships.

Kindness comes out of our small change.  Grace is the most expensive watch in the case.  God says, “Love others, be gracious, full of grace, forgiving, taking the coat off our backs, walking that second or third or hundredth extra mile, forgiving even after we have lost count.”

Just as we have been loved by God.  Just as God has covered us by His grace.  And now we are free to extend to others.  God says, “I love you no matter what.” 

          Repeat after Me.

Grace is never earned nor deserved.  That is what makes it grace.  These hard situations we are in, these difficult people we work with, live beside, or encounter along the way, these ENORMOUS (all capital letters) wrongs against us are not roadblocks or irritations or ammunition, but just opportunities to train in grace. 

Practice grace in this.

          Repeat after Me.

 

O LORD,

Please change not just our thoughts and attitudes, but our affections. 

                         What we love.

Change our minds.  Change our hearts.

And show us Your way of grace in place of no way. 

Help us to be not just mindful of keeping a relationship,

but intentional in nurturing relationship. 

You love.  You forgive. 

You show us the grace we never even imagined.

                   Even in what appears impossible.

Help us to do the same.

 

And God is able to make

            all grace abound to you,

so that having all sufficiency

in all things,

at all times,

you may abound in every good work.

 

                        2 Corinthians 9. 8                  

Because it doesn't last forever. It just feels that way.

Over the weekend, I attended my grandson's elementary school cross country state meet.  When it came time for his race, I bypassed the beginning of the race with all 330 boys lined up, each one vying for a faster time.  I also avoided standing in the screaming crowd by the finish line, so many phones trying to capture those last historic moments.

Instead I scurried to the back of the course, where a long gradual downward slope ended with a steep ascent, climbing to a ridge that overlooked the finish line.  

That is where he needed me.  It is the hills where gravity pulls at their confidence and the long upward slog makes the runners wonder why in the world they ever signed up for this.

I saw him coming in that colorful river of boys.  I called out to him to pass yet another runner on the hill.  And he flew past, his face flushed, his mouth set.  He didn't even look.  He was unaware I was even there.  But somehow I think he knew I was.

I started walking back up the hill to return to where this race both started and finished.

I walked alongside the course, approaching a small copse of trees that hid the top of the ridge.  The dusty trail still headed uphill, marked by small plastic flags, and seemed to never end.  

As I was walking, I happened to glance over to the course, just a few feet away.  A young boy, appearing about nine years old, dressed in his team's red tank top and shorts, had stopped running. The hill was conquering him. He was sweating.  He began walking.  Others were slowly passing him by.  He had given up on this race.  I could see defeat written on his face and in his dragging feet.

I turned to him and said quietly, only to him, "You know, you are almost done."

A mere few seconds passed, the words soaking in, and suddenly he was gone, pulling out of nowhere his last remaining ounce of strength, running up that final vanquishing part of the hill.  And then, flying down to the crowds at the finish line where hundreds of people were cheering for their boys with shouts of acclamation that could be physically felt.  

I thought about that race this morning when I was trying to encourage a young mom at church who was so discouraged and weary.  Because this season, this hard task, this difficult day, week, year, that long steep hill doesn't last forever.

It just feels that way.

God puts people on each of our paths those who need encouragement through the miry bogs of life.  We can't do everything to help, assist and support, but we can always hand out kindness, hope and an good energizing word along the way.  And sing over them the psalms of ascent.

And then, we look back and see God's faithfulness all the way through.

I know.  I have been a recipient of those affirming words from the sideline over and over again.  On countless and strategic moments, God has placed many saints, strangers, friends and family literally and figuratively on my own marathon route through life.  And it always surprises me the incredible strength embedded in just a few encouraging words that all of us are able to bring, helping someone run the course set before them.  Even today.  Even in this.

The Lord GOD has given me

   the tongue of those who are taught,

that I may know how to sustain

                   with a word

      him who is weary.

                               Isaiah 50. 4

The Most Ineffective Words in Any Relationship

You
Need
To  __________

That's it.  Shortest blog posting ever.  You may stop reading now.

No matter the tone of voice, no matter the constructive or destructive intent, no matter your passion about the person or action, there is no need to even fill in the blank, because your audience of any age or size or relationship, has already turned off their hearing.  They have stopped listening.

What makes these words so ineffective and disdainful is that they were probably the first words uttered after the Fall.  Eve took a bite of that juicy apple.  She handed it to Adam, "You need to eat it too." And then, suddenly the thought occurred to her, "God, You need to..." as if she was suddenly in charge.

Even Jesus did not tell people what to do, what to believe, and how to believe it. Scripture reveals that the crowds and the leaders were "amazed" by how He pointed others to the Truth  just by asking questions.  "And who do you say that I am?" Throughout His ministry, He asked, "And what do you think?"

The Bible says for us to "Train up our children in the way they should go..."  Nowhere does the Bible commend being a tyrant.  The problem with telling children what to do is that they lose the ability to think through and discern what to do.  They have no ownership in doing what is right.  Teach them to think it through. Guide them in it. "What do you think would be the best decision?"  Because, as my mom used to say to me, "I won't always be there to help you."

Put a thought on their radar. "Have you considered...?"  It teaches them to think, provides a different perspective, and allows them to take ownership of the decision.

There is one guarantee:  your kids will mess up, your spouse will mess up, and so do we.  We often see imperfections in others because we are desperately trying to cover up our own.

I can't tell them what to do, but I can tell them what worked for me. 

As I advised a friend just a few weeks ago, "You get one bullet.  Make it a good one."  You get one opportunity to offer encouraging advice. And then, no re-runs or nagging.

What should I say, LORD?  Or should I say anything at all?  Covered absolutely in prayer first, saturated always in grace.

Quick to listen,
    slow to speak,
 slow to anger...

                                     James 1.19

Howard's ever-present 3 x 5 card, and what it taught me about praying

One of the first things I noticed when I met my dear father-in-law Howard was his strong sense of time and organization.  There was always a 3 x 5 index card in the front pocket of his shirt.  His day was scribbled on that card – things to be done, who to call, what to work on, what to finish from the day or week before.   The list was often extensive, realizing that some projects were not meant to be finished in a day, but keeping his appointments, assignments, plans and undertakings upfront where they would not be forgotten or fall off his radar.  His little card kept him on task.

And when there was all-too-often too much on his plate and pressing for his attention, the ever-present card helped him to know how to approach, how to navigate, and what to focus on.  As author Steven Garber reminds all of us, “I cannot do everything, but I can do something.”

I thought about Howard’s index card a few weeks ago as I realized that I had told several friends, family and acquaintances that I would pray for them in their work, their sufferings, their deep miry bogs, for wisdom, for healing, for strength, and for both courage and encouragement.

I caught myself one morning asking myself “Who did I tell I would pray for them?”  Had that phrase become a type of smiley-faced greeting like “Have a nice day?”  Did I mean it? 

And could I remember exactly who?

That evening, I wrote down on the first piece of paper I found the names of those I had promised to pray for that week.  As I jotted down, I mused that I was writing on an all-too-familiar 3 x 5 index card.

The next morning, that little white card seemed to wave at me from the counter where I had left it.  It reminded me to pray for my friend’s baby, a young couple who were struggling with some deep decisions, a job change for several others, family conflicts for a woman in a Bible study group, for some children starting school, and for those I do not even know who are facing war and displacement in the Ukraine.

The tiny card helped me to not only remember to pray, but each day and sometimes more than once a day, to pray a little differently for them. 

Not to promise to pray, but to actually pray.  God brings each one to mind, because I had written down their names. 

Lest we forget not just the reasons or the names,

      or forget how God works so powerfully

with prayer as a form of worship,

with this means of loving others,

who we place and lift up

    into the strong grip of the Almighty,

coming before Him,

even with what we may never see in our lifetimes.

God never works in singular outcomes,

    and prayer can't help but get all over everyone.

We may never grasp the answer, or provision, or how the situation plays out, but we can faithfully pray.  And know that God listens and responds and knows far beyond our requests. 

And so when I mention to someone that I am praying for them, God uses that little card to nudge me.  

 

And so, from the day we heard,

   we have not ceased to pray for you...

                          Colossians 1. 9