Saturday, December 9, 2023

A Liturgy For AFTER I Do Something Stupid

 

O LORD,

I really messed up big time.  Again.

I have made some incredibly stupid mistakes,

  in many shapes and sizes,

that have hurt others and myself.

          I am so grateful that You forgive.

When I mess up, You say yet again,

                             “Come to Me.”

And I realize in those harrowing moments,

          I am seen, I am heard,

                          and I am loved by You.

            Even now.  Even in this mess.

I was paying attention,

       but not to what was immediate and needful,

       not hearkening to Your voice, Your nudges,

                          nor to common sense.

How often I desire to play the hero,

               “Oh, I can do that. No problem!”

      --the battle cry that never ends up well.

     I end up playing the fool instead.

      And leave behind a lot of broken pieces

                    on the side of the road.

I run with false confidence,

                     until I fly off the back of the treadmill.

I should know better when I think that small choices don’t matter,

                because they always do.

I do stupid things yet another time.

               And You still forgive.

 You don’t mean for me to get stuck in my shortcomings

                              or swallowed up by layers of guilt.

                      That’s what anxiety does.

                                          But You don’t leave me there.

 Doing something stupid

                      is just part of who I am.

Forgiving is all about who You are.

I cannot unwind or rewind,

                          but You redeem.

“What have I done?” is not a statement of condemnation,

                       but the first step of repentance.

Realizing my shortcomings does not defeat me,

      but unfolds my all-too-obvious need for You.

You are the God who knows.

I don’t often see an act of stupidity coming,

                                      but You do.

I am not aware of the potholes, the cliff, the impending crisis,

          because I am pondering something else,

                             daydreaming perhaps,

               wanting to be in control,

                                    or have a better idea,

               snagged by a distraction of minor proportions,

                        in what seems urgent at the time.

I behave as if I have a personal waiver –

               that the laws of gravity or foolishness don’t pertain to me,

             or I don’t have to read the instructions,

                          think about the obvious outcomes,

                               who might get hurt,

                               what abyss I am hurtling into.

You know my shortcomings.

                 That’s why You invented forgiveness

                 and cover me with Your grace.

I fall literally flat on my face,

                          and You lift me up.

             You take my hand, and say, “Follow Me.”

Help me know that being faithful to You

       is not just one thing among many,

                                            but the one thing.

Empower me, Almighty One, not to dwell on my imperfections,

              but to set my mind and heart on You,

mindful of my actions and words,

                                              forgiven and faithful.

Amen.

Friday, December 1, 2023

Help! I need somebody

 

Help is the most basic of words, found in every language and in every human heart, from the cry of a baby to the lonesome cry of every age, a calling out to one another, a prayer to God Himself. It is a realization of our need. We are not in control.  We cannot do this life, this day, this moment alone. 

God wired us for relationship.  It is part of who we are.  Our needs connect us with each other and draw us to Him.  God never intended for us to do this life alone.  And in this broken world, we cannot.  We all know that deep inside.  In the silence of our hearts, we whisper, “Help me.”

In his new book, How Far To The Promised Land:  One Black Family’s Story of Hope and Survival in the American South, Esau McCaulley unfolds his personal narrative as he navigated a childhood of extreme poverty, the absence of a drug addicted father, and the faithfulness of his mother struggling to raise four children on her own.

Esau asks, “Where was God when I was a child in need of His protection?”

Now as a father of four, possessor of multiple academic degrees, author, professor of New Testament at Wheaton College and New York Times columnist, Esau wrote this book to acknowledge that he just didn’t “make it” on his own.  Even in his pain and suffering, he was not alone.  “My grasp of that significance begins with experiences of God as a child, on my knees in front of my twin bed, hands clasped and eyes shut tight in prayer, repeating the simplest of prayers: “Help.”

God saw him.  God heard that little voice.  God loved him.  “In those prayers, God came to me not with logical explanations of the problem of evil but with His presence.  When I prayed, a sensation of warmth that began in my chest moved throughout my body.  The room seemed less empty.  The lack of speedy deliverance frustrated and perplexed me, but I never doubted my experiences of God.  It was how I survived.”

Esau learned to pray as a child.  He knew he needed help.  He knew he needed God.  Praying carried him through.  He learned to pray by praying.

Praying is not meant as a ritual, a bedtime singsong ending to the day, even as a proverbial 911 call, but the deepening of a relationship with God.  A time of talking, a time of listening, a time of realizing we are loved.

Tim Keller once pointed out:  “God is not like a chess player casually moving us pawns around on a board.  Nor is it usually clear until years later, if ever in this life, what good God was accomplishing in the difficulties we suffered.”

But sometimes God gives us a glimpse. 

And praying gets us there.  Praying does not just put our concerns and troubles in God’s hands.  God spreads out our prayers that others will be impacted as well, not like displaying the evidence of God, but His Presence.  “I am with you.”  Praying is an act of trusting God, even in this.

“Dark and appalling are the clouds of war and wickedness and we know not where to turn, but, Lord God, You reign” wrote Oswald Chambers in the throes and atrocities of World War 1.  That assurance is the outcome of crying, “Help.”  As with Esau, the empty room is no longer so empty, our words are heard, we are not alone.  Praying helps us to realize that.

When we pray, when we turn to God, we see things differently, we make different choices, we go forth with a strength that is not our own, into the familiar and even into what we cannot yet know.  God changes our hearts through prayer.  Our cry for help makes us sensitive to His provision, His leading, His way in this situation.

A few weeks ago, I lost a simple necklace.  I did not know where, but the possibilities included the sanctuary at church and the vast square footage of our local Costco.   We were spending the afternoon with some of our grandkids.  “Let’s pray that God will help us to show us where it is,” I suggested to the kids.  I have seen too much not to pray, even about the little things. 

I did not know if we prayed that we would find it.  But I did know, we just needed to pray.

Later, on our way to take the grandkids home, I asked my husband to stop at the church parking lot, now shrouded by the shadows of huge trees in the darkness.  “Perhaps it fell off when I got out of the car,” I said.  He pulled up where we had parked that morning.  I used the little flashlight on my phone to trace my steps from the car to the entrance of the church.  I was almost ready to return to the car emptyhanded, but at least I had tried, when our seven-year-old grandson joined me.  Together we looked carefully on the paver stone steps, across the patio, just ten feet left, crossing a long crack in the concrete now covered with colorful autumn leaves.  And suddenly, George cried out, “Gramma, there it is.”  Nestled in the leaves was the slightest glimmer of a thin gold strand.

Even at that moment, I realized this wasn’t about finding an old necklace in the leaves at all.  But knowing God’s presence.  God did not just hear our prayers, but guided our steps. George knew we had prayed about it.  We asked for help.  And God revealed Himself.

I think about Esau as a little boy.  And how he knew even as he prayed, despite the chaos and uncertainty in his daily life, God was with him, even against the odds.  That little voice asking for help sent out reverberations throughout his life, both then and now, like a shield over him and God’s presence within.  And as he said in the book, God carried him through.

Prayer is always against the odds.  God opens doors we cannot even imagine.

Pray through the circumstances.  Pray past the ending.  This story is not finished yet. We have all of eternity for God to unfold His grand narrative.  We may not know the outcome, but God gives us the power to stand.

What happens if we pray?

What happens when we pray?

 

I lift up my eyes to the hills.

From where does my help come?

My help comes from the LORD,

    Who made heaven and earth.

                     Psalm 121. 1-2

Thursday, November 23, 2023

Avoiding the Obvious Potholes and Other Thanksgiving Survival Tips

Remember that Thanksgiving Day is not a scene in a Hallmark movie, but a chapter in a much bigger story with real people, real places, and a very real God.

Bring your favorite dish to the table, not your favorite grudge.

Let sleeping dogs lie.  Leave the barking dogs at home.

Don’t just say grace.  Practice it.

Be the first to hug.

The best Thanksgivings are the creative ones.  How differently can we make this one?

If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.  Romans 12. 18  Even now. Even in this.

Spend more time setting the tone than setting the table.

Remember to thank God….and the host family.

Take Paul’s fashion advice.   Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving one another, as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also much forgive.  And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony.  Colossians 3. 12-14

What are we really grateful for?  It shows.

If you have to be competitive, choose kindness:   Outdo one another in showing honor.  Romans 12.10

Which seat do we choose?  Head of the table? Or taking the table leg no one else wants?

Leave your cape at home.  You don’t have to be the hero.

Laugh early and often, but not at someone else’s expense.

Don’t let the traditional meal be something no one wants to remember.

No need to replay past documentaries.  We all have histories that God is still redeeming.

It’s more important to be kind than to be right.

Let Christ be the lingering aroma.

Find something you like on the buffet of conversation.

Don’t just look for the joy.  Bring the joy.

Mercy triumphs over judgment, criticism, and burnt rolls. James 2. 13

Be mindful and thankful for those faithful ones who have gone before us.   

Avoid the obvious potholes.

Give thanks in all circumstances.  2 Thessalonians 5. 18   Find something.

Think of it as the one day, possibly the one remaining moment to love that person.

Offer to God a sacrifice of thanksgiving…  Psalm 50. 14  I have always thought that the sacrifice of thanksgiving is thanking God even before we see the outcome.

Remember to have fun!

Look for the blessings.  Bring the blessing in many different flavors.  Be the blessing.

Walk differently through that door this year.

Pray your way in.