Watches in the Night

It is in the little wakings in the night,
coming up from a deep sleep
          to the surface,
when dreams melt away.
And standing by the side of the bed
        is a loud,impatient crowd
          of anxieties and worries,
all clamoring for attention
like toddlers shouting,
      "Oh good, she's awake."
And awake I stay,
tending to each and every one,
dwelling on every aspect,
memorizing every detail,
examining multiple angles
         and what each means to me,
translating each worry
         into fourteen different languages,
following each thread
    that leads to yet another thought,
a new dimension,
     and lastly to a cousin
       with all kinds of related fears.

But as my friend Laurie says,
"If you know how to worry,
you already know
       how to meditate on Scripture.
You are just dwelling
              on the wrong thing."

Redeem those watches in the night
by reciting Scripture,
meditating on it,
praying the words,
dwelling on it,
marinating on God's Word,
and listening to Him
      instead of fear.
On what am I dwelling
     that is His rightful place?

...I think of You upon my bed,
and meditate on You
     in the watches of the night,
for You have been my help,
and in the shadow of Your wings
                I sing for joy.

                     Psalm 63. 6-7