A New Chapter

It is official. The hard drive on my computer is dead, beyond repair, resurrection, and even data retrieval. And with it went almost a year of writing, pictures of family, a dozen or so blog postings not yet published, notes from books I read this year, articles written for various publications, quotations from newspapers and magazines, and research on a book I have been working on for about sixteen months. Just like that. Gone. And sometimes we have to live with mystery, indeed letting God carry us through those barren places that don't make sense, and if we look closely enough, finding grace in the wilderness. So for the next couple of weeks, until I can get my computer fixed, I am back to pen and paper, back to where I started as a young girl, just like old times, writing in spiral notebooks, on the back of envelopes, index cards, grocery lists, old receipts, and this morning, letting words wander down the margin of a Bible study lesson. I lost a lot of words this week, but more will emerge to take their place. Last week when the great crash happened, as I was putting my journal away in the evening, I saw that hours before the computer's final breath, I had written at the top of the page "not an unknown to Him." God is still sovereign, even in this. God is in control, even in this. God will use this situation for tremendous good, even in this, and what appears tragic may be turned inside out for something deeper yet. He is my Redeemer. All things, even in this. My hard work just vanished. But it is only something that I have done; it is not who I am. It is a huge reminder -- yes, to back up more often -- and that He is enough. Let God use what happened for His glory. Perhaps a change of direction is in store, a new chapter I never expected, a deepening. He is LORD even in this, beyond what I can comprehend, His goodness too good to even grasp. It is not that I trust God that He knows what He is doing, but that I know enough to stake my life on it. I know there is always a reason why. Must I know that reason in order to trust Him into it? In order to know He is using it? That He is using this for a higher purpose than what appears? Was the work really lost or was it used to make me grow? It may have already fulfilled His intentions. And when my path is barren and I have sand in my shoes, He may just be leading me across the Red Sea on dry ground. I can trust Him. Even in this. For My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways My ways, says the LORD. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways and My thoughts than your thoughts. Isaiah 55.8-9 The LORD will fulfill His purpose for me. Psalm 138.8

Please Stay Tuned

This blog posting was SUPPOSED to be about my backpacking adventure with my husband last week.  Indeed, that post is already written and documented with pictures.  And then, just as I was ready to post about it a few days ago and share my adventure in the wild, the hard drive on my computer crashed.  And with it, my writing, research and pictures GONE.
Please bear with me as I try to work through this miry bog of technical issues.

In the meantime, be faithful to what God has placed before you to do today, those tasks that may be wearisome, those people who may be even more wearisome and difficult, impossible situations that only God can lead you through.  One of my favorite books is The Hiding Place by Corrie ten Boom, a quiet unassuming single Dutch woman whom God used in mighty ways...and whom God is still using.  When this tender hearted woman was struggling deeply to hide Jews in her home in Nazi occupied Holland, and then, as a result, trying to be obedient to God in the midst of a German concentration camp, she would have no idea that 70 years later, people would still speak of  how she was used by God and His faithfulness to her.
Leave that kind of legacy behind you today, even in the little things of life.  Because in God's kingdom, nothing is little, nothing too small to be used in mighty ways.  We never know how God will bear fruit through it, sometimes not what we expect, sometimes much deeper than we can possibly comprehend.

Let the favor of the LORD our God
       be upon us,
and establish the work of our hands upon us,
yea, establish the work of our hands.
                              Psalm 90.17

                           Psalm 90.17

Thoughts On A Run

Why is a lie

      more believable than the truth?

Because a lie always comes

     with promises not tied to reality,

promises it cannot keep.

No matter how good it looks,

        deceit is still deceit.

A Particular Grace

The commuters were dressed in what appeared to be uniforms of winter grey and brown, reflecting their demeanor as if they were catching the early train to nowhere instead of the city. They gathered on the platform, eyes blind to those standing next to them, minds already bogged down by the day ahead.  Scattered walkers in the park, dressed in sweats or hoping their huge coats disguised the fact that they were still wearing mismatched pajamas, hurried their dogs along in the chilly morning air.  I felt like I was flying through the October crispness, a run smuggled in before the rush of the day.  I was oblivious to the first mile and a half of my route, fast-forwarding through what I needed to get done.  The crunch of the dusty gravel path and the sight of a vicious looking black dog brought me back to reality.  I took a slight detour through the dewy grass to avoid a confrontation with the huge canine pulling at his master’s leash.  Out of danger, something quite suddenly caught my eye on the other side of the pond.  In the midst of a rather mundane landscape of tired trees, stood a single tree distinguished and radiant, as if reflecting the glory of God.  The other trees appeared muted and reluctant, going through the motions of the season, but this one, there was something different there.

THAT is what grace looks like,

             a transformed life thriving amidst mediocrity,

      the touch of God’s Presence in the face of unbelief,

   the reality of a heart renewed,

bringing light and inexplicable passion

             to a hazy world starved for hope.

Live like that.

…walk as children of light…

                      Ephesians 5.8

A Fresh Coat of Paint

We have needed to paint the interior walls of our house for some time now, an activity that somehow had been demoted from the active “to do” list to the passive “need to do” list.  Those things are relegated to the somedays that never seem to arrive. 

Late last June when we were staying at the home of one of Bill’s brothers and his wife, I admired the calming atmosphere of their bedroom.  Asking for the name of the paint color, I realized that the shade of subtle grey was exactly the one I had chosen a few months before for our own room at home.  It could look like this?    Over the summer, we purchased the paint, and the two cans have waited patiently throughout the summer drought for the perfect opportunity, a rainy Saturday in autumn.

Last Saturday, it rained.  Bill began painting as I ran to the grocery.  With only one short wall completed, I was astonished at the difference it made in the look and feel of the room.  “It’s beautiful,” I remarked.  “Not yet,” Bill replied.  “It’s not finished.”  

We talked while he painted, and I watched a fresh coat of paint transform the space.  The room was the same.  But there is now something new and refreshing about it.  If a fresh coat of paint can do that to a room, how different would a relationship look with forgiveness?  Or a kind word instead of a critical one?  Or a new attitude about an old difficulty?  A splash of patience?  Gentleness with a  tired child?

I think I would be surprised.  It could look like this? 

It can be as simple as Paul says in 1 Thessalonians 5. 15-18, “See that none of you repays evil for evil, but always seek to do good to one another and to all.  Rejoice always, pray constantly, give thanks in all circumstances…”    Easy for him to say, I thought, until I realized that Paul was probably writing this letter from prison.  LORD, color my responses.  It CAN look like this.

Sometimes what we need is not a new situation, but a new nature – a fresh coat of grace.

 

…we too might walk

          in newness of life.

                           Romans 6.4