Tuesday, January 14, 2014

OK, God, I can take it from here

Yesterday, I ran for the first time in three months.  My foot is not completely healed, but at my last physical therapy appointment, I was given clearance to run only on the treadmill, slowly, alternating with walking, a prescription I clasped joyfully.  Yesterday, I walked five minutes, ran for five minutes at a metered pace, walked another five, and so on, fulfilling the therapist's directions.

As I ran slowly, I thought about this long healing, and what I have learned through it, most of which had nothing to do with my foot.  God did not take away running from me, but He put it in its rightful place.  "Use my running," I would pray, "for Your glory."  He took it to even deeper dimensions, even in my inability to run, even in my brokenness.

When I was injured back in September, at first I stubbornly worked my way through the pain, figuring my foot would get better on its own.  The real healing began, not when I finally went to the doctor, or even when I reluctantly signed up for physical therapy, but when I came to the point of trusting that "yes, they may very well know what they are doing," even when I did not initially see results.   Don't push through the pain, don't quit, but slow it down. 

When I ran my third interval yesterday, well, my foot still felt good.  No problem, I thought.  I can keep going.  This is better than I thought.  I ran beyond my prescription.   Halfway through the fourth running segment, I felt a slight twinge.  In the fifth interval of running, I stopped.  My foot hurt.  And I limped around the rest of the day.

Needless to say, there was no running today.
I realized that my freedom to run
    was not based on how fast I go,
                   nor even how far,
   but the obedience.
We all very well know,
when pride kicks in,
at that point when we say in our hearts,
"OK, God,
     I can take it from here."
That is when we veer off the path.
There is a reason for obedience,
     most of which I cannot know.
Follow Him into it.

The healing pales in light of what God reveals.
It always does.
There is always a deeper purpose in miracles,
      a healing not of feet,
             but of the heart.

How much do I trust Him?

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